His Girlfriend Broke His Dick

Now folks,  I’m no doctor, nor do I claim to be,  ……and…. I am a girl so I do not have a penis hence I have no idea if you can actually break a penis or not ……..but on with the story.
So the other day a friend of mine told me his girlfriend broke his penis……(“AJ, I swear to God,  I think she broke my dick”)     So apparently as the story goes…..they had just finished having sex and she was on top of him.   Now, even though they were “finished” his boy parts were still in the girl parts, if you will.   This is that moment when everything is quiet, calm and all lovey dovey ……that post coitus euphoria crap written about in every 2 dollar romance novel.…..as the story goes, this particular guy  is  just relaxing trying to catch his breath….he’s on his back….she’s on top…..when suddenly she sneezes……(“big deal…so she sneezed…..what’s the big deal?”)   “AJ”, he calmly says  “try to follow along here……she broke my dick, ok?…..see, this was my dick” as he begins gesturing with his hands……”nevermind, have you ever seen a baseball bat?”…..(leave it to guys to use a sports reference….as if I’ve never seen a dick before)….”now, you know at the bottom…the base of the bat is wider to stop your hands from coming off the bat when you swing?….now imagine putting your hands very tightly around the base of that bat and someone yanking it out of your hand”…..(ewww….ouch….that might hurt)….”EXACTLY!…when she sneezed the force of it squeezed the #!*!#  out of my dick…..the momentum of  the sneeze forced  her body  up and off of my dick that her va ja ja had a millisecond sneeze force power death grip on……it was horrible…..it was  painful…..I’m tellin ya….she broke my dick”  ( At this point I am laughing so hard, I am crying…..he does not find this amusing at all….I opt for my very best Dr Phil sympathetic look)
”Listen…I’m sure she didn’t mean to actually break your dick….how in the hell is she supposed to control a sneeze?”

”A LITTLE WARNING WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE!”….

”Most sneezes are pretty spontaneous….I’m sure if she knew it was coming she would have hopped right off”…

”Yeah, well….the sneeze CATAPULTED  her off… with my dick in her”

“Well….ummm….….did you get your dick back?”

“I hate you…..I don’t even know why I tell you my problems…..wait….hold on…..you’re not gonna make a video about this right?…..promise me you are not going to make a video”

“I promise, my friend….I, AJ Hunter do solemnly promise to not make a video about your broken dick”……(insert diabolical laughter here)

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